Do you like comedy?
Do you like seeing comedians in your free time?
Do you like bad dad jokes?
Do you want to hear some of the most amazing comments that make you cry laughing?
BE A TEACHER!!!
You will hear some of the craziest stories, comments, and most hilarious things you have ever heard. There have been many times I have laughed so hard that I cried. These are the moments I love in the classroom because they are spontaneous and unplanned. I enjoy these moments with my students because we can laugh together with pure joy.
Every year teaching, I have bought a notebook to write down all these amazing moments in my classroom. I have so many notebooks full of student funnies from my teaching in elementary and middle school. I did not want to forget any of them.
Here are some of my favorite student responses from over the years . Please enjoy. If you are a teacher, add your own in the comments. I would love to hear them.
Things I should not have to tell my students:
6th grade—We were discussing writing and using all five senses to create your story. I took them out to the playground and told them to use their senses to write a short paragraph.
As I am giving them directions, one of my students raised his hand. I saw the look in his eyes and just KNEW what he was going to ask.
ME: Please do NOT lick the playground.
8th grade—I am giving the students directions on what to do and I look back and see one of my students……..
ME: Please don’t put your pen in your ear.
Student #1: But…
Student #2: Wait, I wanna see what that feels like (puts pen in his ear)
ME: Get the pen out of your ears!
Yeah, that is not quite right:
8th grade—The students had just gotten back from Christmas break, and a student was telling the class what they got for Christmas.
Student #1: I got a polaroid camera for Christmas.
ME: Man, those things are making a comeback.
Student #2: Polaroid? That’s a disease, right?
ME: Um, no, not at all.
Student #2: No, isn’t it a disease. I thought that’s what it was.
Student #2: Oh, wait. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.
5th grade—Playing a review game for Old World History.
ME: What are the two holy cities of Islam?
Student #1: Mecca and um…. I don’t know.
ME: (looking at other student) If you can name the other one, I will give you a point, too.
Student #2: Madonna?
ME: No, Medina.
I cannot make this stuff up:
7th grade— We were in English so I’m not really sure why we got on the subject of geography. I think maybe North Dakota was in a sentence or something. Then this great response came:
Student #1: So there’s really a North Dakota?
ME: Um, yeah, you should know this already. There’s a South Dakota, too.
Student #2: There’s a Virginia and West Virginia. Is there a South Virginia?
ME: Did you not learn this in history by now?
5th grade—Reviewing for history.
ME: What is the study of the earth?
8th grade—This was my first year coaching softball, and it was the first game of the season. We had been practicing for over a month. We had just finished the first half of an inning as the home team, and the girls were running back into the dugout. One of my outfielders asked me what the score was so I told her how many the other team scored. The next part of the story left me speechless… Reminder-We are the HOME team. Another piece of information- She has played softball before.
Student: What’s the score?
ME: They scored five.
Student: What did we score?
ME: We have not batted yet?
Student: Yeah, but how many did we score?
ME: (shocked and spoke a little slower) We have not batted yer?
Student: Right, but how many did we score?
ME: The game just started. You just came in from the field. We have not batted yet, so we cannot score any points.
Student: Oh! So we only score when we bat?
(The whole dugout stops and is in shock)
ME: (pause) (speechless) (says slowly) Yes.
Student: Oh okay!
ME: (still in shock)
This junk is funny:
7th grade—We were talking about popping fireworks and some of what they told we was not particularly safe. I told them that are lucky they did not burn anything down. Another student chimed in with a response, and it went downhill from there. You should recognize the State Farm commercial.
Student #1: I burned down my grandpa’s shed.
ME: Burned it all the way down?
Student #1: Yes. My grandpa’s shed
Student #2: She shed?
Student #3: Cheryl’s she shed?
8th grade—I work at a private school so many of my students live 20 sometimes 30 minutes away. Quite a few of them live in swamp areas or country areas with lots of wildlife.
For homework, my students had to complete their study guide. I put it online and later that night, I got this response on Google Classroom from one of my students.
Student: Mmmm I don’t think so. I went outside to go get my booksack in the car and when I walked down the front porch, I saw a bear eating our trash, so that’s a big no no. That study guide is #notgonnahappen.
There will always be more moments.
These are the moments that I read over and over again in my “Funny” books (the students named it). You never know what is going to happen at any moment. One day, a student will have a brick in his booksack because it is his “pet”, the next you are finding a student’s parent’s food stamp card in his pocket. This is what makes teaching SO MUCH FUN!!!
It only gets better from here! 🙂 Be on the lookout for more funny student stories in the future.